A Wee Jig in my Heart

Day 96 - 10:13am, 6 April 2019

Today is National Tartan Day. Not something we celebrate here in Scotland as far as I am aware of, but there's a big parade in New York City. It's the 21st year of the parade and every year there is a big name Scot who acts as Grand Marshal. This year it's Sir Billy Connolly's turn, with his wife Pamela Stephenson by his side.

Who'd have thought that the man with the banana boots would be leading such  parade in such a dignified manner? I wonder if it will be his last big public engagement, having recently announced that he would no longer tour due to his Parkinson's. Billy said that leading the parade did make him dance a wee jig in his heart, showing he's not for dying yet, but that would serve as a fine epitaph for one who brought so much laughter and joy to so many.

All Worn Out

Day 95 - 5:23pm, 5 April 2019

School breaks up today for Easter holidays and they are to go in dressed as Superheroes for Superhero Day. Little Miss is dressed as Violet Parr from The Incredibles and Little Master is the Karate Kid - not quite a superhero but at least better than his suggestion of Ryu (I'm still not very clear who he is, but looking on the internet he appears to be the spitting image of how the Karate Kid would look after 20 years of heavy steroid use). Little Mister has not dressed up and so puts on a hoodie which has the Avengers symbol tucked on the inside of the hood. A year ago, he would have been first in line to choose a costume. Now he's too cool for school. My wee lad is growing up.

Working It Out

Day 94 - 07:57am, 4 April 2019

Thursday is always a bit of a shock to the system. My working week comprises Monday, Thursday and Friday. So Thursday feels like Monday morning all over again, but version two is worse because everyone else has been working the two days in between to generate more to be done. You know that there will be more waiting on your return. At least Monday generally feels like a fresh start for everyone. Thursday, thereafter, feels like a sprint to the start line when everyone else is already two laps ahead. 

I've yet to find the right approach to this. Most weeks, I respond to my emails on Tuesday/Wednesday in the hope that this will get me closer to the starting blocks on Thursday, but I am not sure it does. The obvious answer would be not to read or respond to emails when out of the office, but that comes with its own emotional baggage too. Am I letting the team down? Will I still be taken seriously? Will I be overwhelmed on Thursday and by the time the emails are dealt with and the to do list is written, will I find half the morning gone? It's a conundrum I've yet to get to the bottom of.

Nature's Graffiti

Day 93 - 09:12am, 3 April 2019

There is a foamy triangle that forms at the base of a tree, as the river arcs back into one. It is more noticeable when it has rained, but there does not seem to be any definite trigger to it appearing or disappearing, because even on calm days like this, it is there. Were I to ask hubby, I am sure there would be some explanation regarding churn, the volume of water and the speed it is travelling at. 

I prefer to imagine though that it is how the river expresses it's emotions. There are days when it feels the flow and on those days the water is crystal clear and merrily dancing on its way. But there are days when the onwards momentum is a struggle and the water is pushed forward against its will, daubbing its white graffiti against the banks in protest, in the vain hope that someone or something will register that it has passed through. Is that not what poetry is?  

Standing in Tree Pose

Day 92 - 08:57am, 2 April 2019

One of my favourite yoga poses is the tree. As I practice, week on week, my foot is gradually moving up my standing leg. When I started, I could barely peel my toe off the ground without the need to shout, "Timber!" Now, I can form a solid triangle on my calf or sometimes even make a shaking bough on my knee. But as you are not supposed to apply pressure to your knee. So, I tend to try keeping my opposing foot slightly below or to only very gently brush my toes against my knee, rather than locking them solidly together. 

But what I like best about it is that every time I take up the pose, it looks and feels different. On some days, I wobble and leave the party early. On others, my hands transition up and outwards, meet again, and then seamlessly lower in a flawless circuit, making me feel like a pro. 

I wonder how the trees in and around the Water of Leith feel. On some days, perhaps they are aware of their roots, fused into the ground, and they feel good. And maybe, on others, they feel nothing at all.

Nobody Does It Better

Day 91 - 6:41pm, 1 April 2019

April Fool's Day is a bit of a disappointment this year. Either I was easier pleased in my younger days or I am just getting too old and curmudgeonly to believe anything I read or see that is out of the ordinary. I don't across a single story this morning that isn't obviously a hoax. 

We seem to have lost the art of subtlety. Nature does it so much better. The Japanese playwright Zeami recognises it with his line "subtle shadows of bamboo on bamboo" and while the Water of Leith cannot yet out-bamboo the bamboo for shades of green, I do see subtle changes, usually minuscule, from one day to the next as I take my daily snap.

Out From Behind Her Mother's Skirt

Day 90 - 4:51pm, 31 March 2019

Little Miss rejoins the family, a stronger and bolder little sister. She has pushed herself in ways she would never have contemplated had she been there with us - abseiling, canoeing and a giant swing. 

It is also Mother's Day and, bless her, she has bought me a present with her sweetie money. It is a pug dog key ring. I suspect she has chosen it because it says on the packaging, "I saw this and thought of you!" because I am not a dog fan. Nor is she. She may have got over her fear of heights and water this weekend, but certainly not dogs. One step at a time . . .

A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Day 89 - 2:34pm, 30 March 2019

It's a guest appearance from the River of Tay today, starring the Smeaton Bridge, which is otherwise known as the Perth Bridge. Even after a sleepless night caused by Little Master refusing to let us put the hotel room light out, Perth is certainly living up to its moniker as the Fair City on this beautiful sunny day. 

We will be taking no chances on the sleeping arrangements for tonight, purchasing a moon nightlight. Hopefully, this means we can take the edge off Little Master's fear of darkness without blindsiding the circadian rhythm of the rest of us.

Food of the Gods

Day 88 - 08:35am, 29 March 2019

Little Miss is off to her first Brownie camp today and so the rest of us are taking advantage of us being a family of four, staying in a family room in a hotel close by. Little Master is terribly excited about this fact and has been counting down for days. Having taken the day off work, the first half is spent buying supplies - Little Master's restricted diet means having to have a full weekend's supply - packing her long kit list and getting our gear together too.

You always end up forgetting something. In this instance, I forget my toothbrush and a night light for Little Master. I will come to regret it, because it means sleeping with the bedroom light on. I say sleeping, but that doesn't happen.

In the meantime, our first test is tea. Little Master has been warned he may have to live without pasta and so excited is he to e staying in a hotel room that he accepts it. However, there is pasta on the children's menu and so he is quick to get his order in. My relief is short-lived. When the dishes come his pasta comes with garnish. Not only garnish, but the most finely cut garnish that you have ever seen, meaning I have to pick it off piece by piece. The waiter looks at me half in pity, half in disgust, but my cold tea is a price worth paying.

Dying on Stage

Day 87 - 08:14am, 28 March 2019

It's a girl's trip to the theatre tonight to see In the Willows, all three generations of us. I go from work to my Aunt's for tea and Grandma and Grandpa pick up Little Miss from After School Club to give her her tea. The four of us meet at the theatre.

It's a new musical and I pick it for three reasons. First, I got cheap tickets (always a bonus). Second, Wind in the Willows was my favourite book as a child, so I figure it's as good a time as any to introduce Little Miss to the story and, third, it has Chris Fonseca in it. He is a deaf dancer that appeared on The Greatest Dancer recently on telly and the show has incorporated BSL into it, which I was looking forward to seeing. Beyond that, I didn't know what to expect.

It blows me away! The music, the colours, the dancing. I am expecting animals, but find it has been brought up to date with high school pupils. It is full of hip hop and loud, catchy music. Little Miss loves it too.

We catch the bus back to Grandma's, for Grandpa to take us home. It is late and Little Miss is struggling to stay awake. I explain to her about Chris Fonseca being deaf and so has to feel the beat rather than hear it. "He's what?" "Deaf." "Deaf?" "Yes, he can't hear." "Oh, I didn't know that. How do you spell it?" "D-E-A-F" "Death?" "F, not th." "Not death?" "No! Deaf." "Ohhh. I've never heard that word before." I'm sure she has, but it makes me laugh that she thought he was death personified. If he is your picture of death, then dying won't be all that bad. 

There's a History Between Us

Day 86 - 9:17am, 27 March 2019

Every day, I see more and more evidence that Little Mister is growing up. Not just the height thing. I have long since given up the idea that I would get primary out of him before he overtook me; at the rate he's going, even six-foot plus Daddy isn't going to get primary out of him. 

It's the little things, like trying to pick up birthday presents for him. I realise I am no longer searching Amazon for brand new toys to amuse him, but scouring eBay for secondhand history books for him to read instead. But, even so, not too big it seems to stop him squeezing his way onto the sofa to watch old episodes of Blackadder, curled up against his Dad. 

One Happy Cat

Day 85 - 12:57pm, 26 March 2019

If I was to have a spirit tree it would be a pussy willow: its diminutive height; the distinctiveness and overabundance of the miniature fuzzy nubs that cover its branches in Springtime and which unequivocally whisper "touch me!" I remember a boy called Paul at our primary school who stuck one of the catkins up its nose. I don't remember anything else about him, couldn't tell you his surname or any other details - just that he got one stuck up his nose and had to get it removed.

I am now the proud owner of my own pussy willow tree thanks to an early Easter present from my Aunt. I'd seen them a couple of weeks ago at the garden centre but because the tag said they liked lots of sunshine I'd decided against buying one. But I couldn't resist the temptation of having one bought for me, so when offered, I decided we'd work round it. I'm not sure whether it will end up in the back garden (sunnier) or round the front (morning sunshine, afternoon shade), but I'm hoping it'll be happy enough up front so I can see it every time I leave or enter the house.

A Cup of Coffee Starts the Week

Day 84 - 8:13am, 25 March 2019

I go back to work tired and exhausted from the weekend. Sometimes, my motivation for going to work is to get a little bit of peace and a decent cup of coffee. What can I say, I appreciate the simple things in life.

Are You Stuck, or Left Behind?

Day 83 - 3:51pm, 24 March 2019

I was reading a creative writing magazine and there was an interview with a young adult author who also writes for adults. In answering the question as to how she chooses whether a book will be for one audience or the other, she suggested the subject matter clinched it. She proposed that the 'big questions'and topics change at different stages of our life - which seems sensible. She suggested that the big fear that we have as adults is that we get stuck, so you should base your story lines around that. I'm less convinced by that argument. Rather, I think we adults like routine, far more than we ever fear being left behind.

Warm Inside

Day 74 - 5:14pm, 15 March 2019

The Cubs are due to go for a night hike tonight. It's not the full on Scout-up-a hill-in-the-middle-of-the-night type hike, but I am still glad when it is called off for impending bad weather. Mind you, it does mean that it's a games night in the hall. At least it's warm inside, if somewhat noisy!

Triple the Return

Day 73 - 5:31pm, 14 March 2019

This was once Albert Einstein's birthday, but these days in Japan and East Asia, it's known as White Day - the answer to Valentine's Day. Whereas women gave gifts of chocolate on 14 February, men are supposed to reciprocate a month later by gifting (white) chocolate, supposedly two to three times' the value of the original gift - sanbai gaeshi. Unsurprisingly, this tradition was begun by the chocolate industry, no doubt as was the widening of Valentine's gift-buying away from just romantic love to incorporate courtesy and social obligation. Obligations all round, hardly the stuff of true love.