Day 6 - 11:10am, 6 January 2019
Walking to the river, the enormity of a year's worth of visits hits me. I am back at work tomorrow for the first time this year. I will no longer have the luxury of spare time to come down here and take a photo at my leisure. I will have to make time. It's not even that it is in the right direction for work, it will mean coming out of my way. I wonder what will be the point. If I come before work, I will need to be here before 8am - not yet fully light; if I leave it until after work, it will be closer to 7pm and fully dark. Tomorrow shouldn't be so bad, the kids are not yet back at school, so the only pressure is on me to get myself out in time. Thursday will be more of a challenge, when all of us must be ready in time. But I am getting ahead of myself.
I pause my thoughts while I take the photo, framing and freezing the scene on the screen. Putting the phone away, my doubting continues. Why then am I doing this? What is its purpose? What can I hope to achieve? Is it finding myself? Or is it just 15 minutes out of my day? Is it selfish, when the days are rushed and there is no time, for me to be coming down here to a river that doesn't care whether I come or not? The river flows on regardless, day after day. Perhaps that's its appeal. It does not expect anything of me, it doesn't answer my questions or even reflect back to me, it is just there.
I return home my questions unanswered, waiting to see what tomorrow brings.
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