Day 43 - 09:06am, 12 February 2019
Little Miss has been dropped off at her holidays dance club and the boys are at their tae kwon-do course, hoping to grade for new belts tomorrow. It is the first time in a long time that I have been in the house alone for any length of time. While I have been fantasising about transforming the house in the hour before my own Bodybalance class, the truth is I mainly enjoy the quiet and leave the tidying up until after I am home from class.
Class is difficult. Even though my asthma is improving, as soon as I exercise, I am back to performing my best impression of a panting dog on a hot day. Thankfully, the class is quiet and I am hiding in the very back row, in the very back corner. So I think I just about get away with it.
I find my asthma humbling. It's very easy to take our bodies for granted, to expect them to show up and operate at full capacity, just because that's what they did yesterday. Yet, when my asthma is playing up - and I am conscious that my choice of words "playing up" is indicative of my arrogance in this respect, as if the asthma is somehow acting out of turn, how dare it! - that all the gains of accumulated classes over the past two years are gone overnight. Back to square one. Barely able to lift my hands over my head without needing to reach for my inhaler.
But I am lucky. I know my setbacks are temporary. There are those that live with asthma day in and day out; those who cannot hope for a return to good health but must adapt to and live with their bodies as they are. And each and every one of those bodies is no less worthy or deserving of respect than my own.
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