Day 46 - 08:26am, 15 February 2019
Running very late for work today. Thankfully I catch a bus straight away, and the combination of it being a Friday and the kids being off school means I make it into the office only five minutes late. I have a list of tasks that I want to get through, and by the end of the day, I have got through a lot, but not necessarily what I wanted to. I take my laptop home. Ostensibly, with all good intentions of doing what I couldn't do during the day, but I know the likelihood is that when I grab it on the way out the door on Monday morning, it will have lain where I left it, undisturbed for the entire weekend.
Before, this thought would have depressed me. I would have taken it as a signal of just how out of control my world is. Can't get it together at work, can't get it together at home. Every day is more chaotic than the last. But it's not. The kids are loved, fed and watered; they make it to school on time 99 times out of 100. Can we improve? Yes, undoubtedly. But for now, we just hang on and try to change one little thing at a time. And this weekend, the thing I will change is the desire to beat myself up when real life asserts itself, as I am sure it will. Instead, I will just be gracious, with me and with my life, because both are worthy.
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