Day 126 - 7:42am, 6 May 2019
https://theaspergian.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/
This post was inspired by C.L. Lynch’s fantastic explanation of the spectrum. Thank you for keeping your neurotypical cousins right and holding us to account. Please take the time to read her original post.
I hate social situations unless I am with people I know well and am about as co-ordinated as a politician appearing on Strictly. This doesn’t make me a little bit autistic.
So I try hard not to roll my eyes in disbelief when people say thinks like “he doesn’t look autistic” or “we’re all a little bit on the spectrum” because I realise they are trying to engage and show empathy. There are better ways of doing it though. You don’t have to assume someone’s identity to stand alongside them, you just have to love and accept them as they are, which you can do by listening to them and learning from them, not diminishing their disability or struggles. Little Master has taught me so much more than I have ever taught him. And I have as high hopes for him as I do for the other two, knowing that the paths that they each take may or may not be wildly different, depending on their interests and abilities over time. That’s okay, they are each unique human beings with a unique contribution to make. Our job as parents and as a society is to support them and make it possible for them to be the best version of them they were meant to be.
One of the things that stuck with me from last week was the charity’s CEO - himself blind - saying that while LGBTQ+ awareness is moving on, society’s attitude to disability is not moving at the same pace, they are still often left behind.
We won’t close the gap by diminishing the struggles of disabled people, even if we do so with the best intentions. I keep coming back to the Hawaiian concept of ‘ohana’ and with it the idea that nobody is left behind or forgotten. It’s not about blood relationships but encompasses those who are bound together by genuine compassion, support, loyalty and love for one another. That’s the sort of community I want to be part of, one which embraces people as they are, individuals, disabled or not.
This post was inspired by C.L. Lynch’s fantastic explanation of the spectrum. Thank you for keeping your neurotypical cousins right and holding us to account. Please take the time to read her original post.
C.L. Lynch is an award-winning author and socially awkward autist living in Vancouver, B.C. with one husband, two children, several fuzzy animals, and uncountable unwashed dishes. She enjoys smashing tropes and hiding from adult responsibilities.
I hate social situations unless I am with people I know well and am about as co-ordinated as a politician appearing on Strictly. This doesn’t make me a little bit autistic.
So I try hard not to roll my eyes in disbelief when people say thinks like “he doesn’t look autistic” or “we’re all a little bit on the spectrum” because I realise they are trying to engage and show empathy. There are better ways of doing it though. You don’t have to assume someone’s identity to stand alongside them, you just have to love and accept them as they are, which you can do by listening to them and learning from them, not diminishing their disability or struggles. Little Master has taught me so much more than I have ever taught him. And I have as high hopes for him as I do for the other two, knowing that the paths that they each take may or may not be wildly different, depending on their interests and abilities over time. That’s okay, they are each unique human beings with a unique contribution to make. Our job as parents and as a society is to support them and make it possible for them to be the best version of them they were meant to be.
One of the things that stuck with me from last week was the charity’s CEO - himself blind - saying that while LGBTQ+ awareness is moving on, society’s attitude to disability is not moving at the same pace, they are still often left behind.
We won’t close the gap by diminishing the struggles of disabled people, even if we do so with the best intentions. I keep coming back to the Hawaiian concept of ‘ohana’ and with it the idea that nobody is left behind or forgotten. It’s not about blood relationships but encompasses those who are bound together by genuine compassion, support, loyalty and love for one another. That’s the sort of community I want to be part of, one which embraces people as they are, individuals, disabled or not.
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